I would be happy for him (as much as the ex can be in this situation). Our story is complicated. I've never harbored animosity toward Andrew.
But I can't be, because I heard about it through a friend's boyfriend.
Of course there are other reasons it hurts, but I think that makes it just about as shitty as it can get.
I just wrote him an email. I pretty much called him a chickenshit. I told him he made it harder for me than it had to be. Thanks a lot...
You know what would have made it all easier? If you'd just told me yourself. If you'd just broken your "silence" and talked to me about it in a way that made me believe you cared. You cared that it hurt me. And you know why it hurts -- that's the very reason you avoided doing it.
When an actual good friend called me last night to tell me for what he and she actually believed would be the first time (ha!), she told me he "couldn't do it." He asked her to.
I say...
Fuck you.
Or more precisely, I said...
I don't know why, after everything we had together -- which is more than you've had with this woman -- you couldn't give me that one last thing. Spared me that one little bit of pain. Why am I not worth that? Why couldn't you suck it up and just sacrifice that much for me?
Do I sound selfish? Well, I don't care. No one knows this relationship but him and me. And all I'm asking for is one last thing.
One last thing for the women he spent ten years with, whom he claimed he couldn't live without, whom he professed he would love forever...
Except nothing lasts forever.
Not him, not me, not us.
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