Cruel Irony?

Ironic or not ironic; that is the question...

When I lived in the Midwest, where EVERYONE gets married, buys a house, and starts a family before 30, I never had any desire to do anything of the sort.

And I was CONSTANTLY badgered about it. By EVERYONE. My friends, my family, the friends and family of my very worthy partner of almost ten years (who I'm pretty sure ALSO wanted those things, but was too tolerant of my "principles" to push me).

I just didn't want them. I never felt the "urge," and I felt pretty strongly that unless you really felt you couldn't be happy without one -- a family, that is -- you shouldn't have one. I thought it was simple enough, but man -- no one else really got me.

Then, when I was 28, I moved to San Francisco. And I discovered that it's not a universal truth -- people everywhere don't get married before they're 30. All women don't instantly turn into baby factories at 25. Some people live life single into their 30s, focused on their careers, enjoying other pursuits like travel. I thought, "My God, I've found it -- I've found them. The sane ones. This is my paradise."

Boy, was I wrong.

I don't know what I've found, but I don't feel like I fit in here, either. Not all the time, at least. Because all of a sudden, as I neared 30, my f@#!ing biological clock starting ticking like a jackjammer on concrete.

Now these people seem crazy to me.

At least, I want to blame my biological clock. That it was just "off," and then it turned "on" because I'm getting older, closing out my prime baby-making years, and the timing was all just very inopportune with respect to the social climate of my surroundings. But this morning I looked through some old photo albums, and came across some very unnerving evidence...













And I think maybe I've been kidding myself all along. Maybe I just like to be different. Maybe I just like to argue, to play devil's advocate. I need to shut up and start looking for the real me.

The real me...

Who was raised in the Midwest.

By a stay-at-home mom.

Who taught kids piano for many years.

Who taught kids about art in museums and public schools.

Who leads childrens' tours at the aquarium.

And who has an awful lot of photos of her smooching her friends' babies.

Hrmph.